July
[jəˈlī]
[lucky number] seventh month of the year
Remember
[rəˈmembər]
to recall to the mind by an act or effort of memory; think of again
to keep in mind; remain aware of
to have (someone) come into the mind again
one year ago…when it all started
Hey there, fellow food lovers!
we’re doing something a bit different this month…a deep dive within my food brain memory bank and what makes theCULINARYIST tick. A throwback to the OG influencers. Here we go…
Family + Food has been a recurring theme on many of my posts this past year since starting my blog. theCULINARYIST is my alter ego, my safe space, my adventurous explorations of food + life. This month (July) of this year (2019), I feel it stronger than ever…the love & comfort of the bond formed by the simple act of sharing a meal. It turns strangers into friends, enemies into allies; breaking through language barriers & cultural differences, sometimes even within the family.
Like most, my parents immigrated into this country with nothing but a dream of a better life for their daughter. A daughter who grew up to be stubborn, headstrong, oddly independent, loud & very “American”. As a child, I thought they meant it as a negative like I was a disappointment to them. But now that I’ve grown, I understand it really means that I’m just so different from their own upbringing – their own ways of living, thinking & acting. When they look at me and think “She’s so weird” or “What is wrong with her”, the only way they can explain or justify my behavior is to roll their eyes and say “Oh, you’re so American”. Laughingly, I reply with a very American girl eye roll and response “Well, DUH!!”
But even when it seemed we were at odds & worlds apart, my parents & I both cherished the little things in life especially our meals together – breakfast as a kid and dinner as a teenager. It was a time carved out of our busy days when my mom would make simple traditional Korean dishes & they would tell me stories at the dining table. Happy tales of a simpler time & their childhood, my grandmother’s cooking, school field trips & lunch boxes, big family (큰집 – kuhn jip: meaning literally “big house” or elder family house) gatherings with ridiculous spreads. Sad stories of escaping the war, starving days & nights, getting scraps of food from the U.S soldiers. Obviously, food has always played a strong role in my little family. It taught me so much love of my culture & background, understanding of & thankfulness for my parents and opened opportunities for me to share many more moments & experiences with my parents even to this day.
**disclaimer…OK, let’s be honest, it sounds all sweet & loving, but my parents & I have crazy fights and harbor some angry grudges & unspoken heart aches like every normal, dysfunctional family…but family is family. Thanks Mom & Daddy for always being patient with your crazy American daughter & teaching me to be mindful and to appreciate the power of openness to different cultures, people & foods.**
As I get older & my family grows, I still have a soft pudgy spot for food (particularly around the mid-section, which gets bigger and bigger). Even before the wedding, I became a part of an amazing family who not only accepted me with open arms & hearts but immediately pulled up a chair for me at their dining table. They knew their way straight to THIS girl’s heart!! On different occasions, my [then future] father-in-law, who just so happens to be a chef, would fill the table with platters of his best homemade Cantonese style dishes – boiled chicken with amazing ginger scallion sauce, ketchup shrimp, dim sum pork spare ribs with black bean sauce, perfectly cooked & juicy prime rib, full steamed fish with ginger, cilantro & green onions and his absolute famous family-secret Cantonese lobster!! Seriously, my eyes roll back and I drooling as I think back to his meals!!
My favorite moment during any of his meals (other than my moment of pure bliss after taking in a mouth full), was a simple one. Something that was so brief but it made me so happy whenever I was lucky enough to catch it. After the table was set and plates were served, it was seeing my father-in-law sit back and watch his wife & children loudly talking, laughing and eating his food. The pleasure and satisfaction he got from everyone else’s delight was a highlight for him at the end of the day. Yes, he would pick here & there and eventually eat a full plate but watching his family eat was his “food”. He took in as much of that moment as he could…every time.
I’ve always known how lucky I am, being a part of this family. Always felt welcome, always had a seat at the table with a way too full plate, always a place to stay. When Mr. Lee shared his recipe & taught me how to cook his Cantonese style lobster dish, it was that honor when I knew he & I bonded…or he gave in & realized I wasn’t going anywhere. To this day & most likely never, I may not know how to successfully exactly replicate the dish but the time spent watching & learning from him, I will keep in my heart & mind forever.
spending some quality time and soaking up as much as I can~
A couple of months before he passed, he cooked & taught me (again) a few more of his famous dishes. As he did, I asked many questions not just about cooking but of his life. That twinkle in his eyes & his absolute love of cooking & providing for his family was always there. As he light heartedly & happily obliged his sweet but sometimes annoying daughter-in-law, my love & respect for this man grew…as did our bond. I hope he knew & felt the same.
see you later, Mr Lee aka best father-in-law a girl could ever ask for!!
I’m continuing my journey in life + food and honoring the love & soul food I’ve received from my mom, my dad & my late father-in-law by learning as much as I can, tasting & experiencing everything I can & living happy.
Onward, fellow foodies, to our next culinary(-ist) adventure,
theCULINARY·IST